Now then, who ruined this first?

It seems as if I am doing everything except the things I should be doing. I'm so tired of myself, I keep saying "yeah I need to shape up, can't go on like this forever" but still I don't. I don't change my ways, and maybe I never will? Meh, dunno.

Anyway I am going out for a walk and a big thinker about the absolute idiot that I am, then will I spend my time finishing this book I've started, I need to get it done with since I guess it's what I'm running from. Although there's a shitload of things I am running from at this point.

I'm such a downer, this is all a massive downer and mess. Sorry for this all you beautiful people out there. I really don't know why any of you keep clinging on to this fantastically hopeless page, but I have to say I am thankful.